To be as successful as I am in dating, follow the following tips.

1. When approaching date, turn back and head for the door, Like Now! to ensure she doesnt see you. If she does see you, make a break for it. Push down big boxes or chairs to slow her down if necessary.
   
2. Do not bring flowers, chocolates or etc for your date. Corporate companies have brainwashed youths into believing that these items please your date. They are wrong! Instead, go with a nice frozen fish head or even a fresh spud. You won't regret it.
   
3. Get a girlfriend with a car so she can drive to the takeaway, get the food and drive back to your place. If you're a couch potato, give her the keys to your house. Your girlfriend can now bring dinner to you instead of you taking her out to dinner. This lessens the hastle of making small talk or uncomfortable silence sessions.
   
4. Avidly make snide remarks about her clothing and hairstyle. Be sure to give her the 'wtfomgbbqlol' face while doing so.
   
5. Walk three steps ahead of your date so attractive single women will notice you.
   
6. Feign surpise as you lie about forgetting to bring your wallet. Smile as your date pays for dinner and offer to get the tip.
   
7. Tell her how big a Star Wars fan you are. Explain in detail about the part where Yoda meets Obi Wan in the cave, or was it Luke Skywalker. If you don't know jack about Star Wars, talk about Enterprise instead. If all else fails, push self destruct button and detonate self.
   
8. Order a plate of fish and chips. Explain why you prefer the taste of human flesh.
   
9. Tell your date how much you still love your ex and how much you still care for him/her.
   
10. Ask the waiter to play the ukelele while you dance the hula in public while on a date. Afterwards, buy a silly hat and mask and walk around wearing the afforementioned articles of clothing.
    

Fishing Day at Rimba